Thursday, March 18, 2010

Harsh reality

Yesterday I was forcefully introduced to the harsh reality of the consequences of not having parents anymore
Before, I couldn't wait to be free and independent, to move out and live on my own.
Make my own rules and not be bounded to others.

Now, besides the part where i've moved out, i kinda got what i wanted.
Living on my own, no one to tell me what I can and cannot do.

But the worst part is, there's no longer anyone to catch you when you fall.

All decisions I make now, everything will fall back on me.
If i made a wrong decision in life, I would have to suffer the consequences
I will have to suffer all the regret on my own,

Im not saying everytime there's a problem you run back to your parents and let them deal with it.
But there is this sort of security that you feel, when you make a decision and you've got this support system behind you.
and you just know that you've got someone rooting behind you all the way.

Money, work, life... I've have to think about it seriously now
not that i've never taken it seriously before.
But now, i'm responsible for my own decisions and future.
I don't have that support system that I had previously before.
I can't say I want to do something just because I want too.
I need to really consider it all, weigh the pros and cons of every big decision i make.

Because now when I think about it, no one else will help me make a decision in my best interest.

Doesn't that make you feel so much more alone then ever now?

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