Hardcore Days & Softcore Nights

My dreams are getting more depressing more than ever these days.

Sometimes I wake up feeling so tired even after countless hours of sleep.

Its probably the lethargicness of it all.

But its starting to get a little bit annoying when u wake up feeling tired after a bad dream.

Its just not a way to start your day.

Last night I dreamt that we were all waiting around for my grandpa to fly off at the airport.

And by fly off i mean die.

The airport was just some metaphor that he's leaving.

The waiting around was hard, because you know he's going to leave you but there's nothing you can do to stop it.

When the plane finally took off, there was that sharp pain to your heart that hits you.

Because, it hurts.

And I realized the day before was his birthday.

So the dream was kinda like a friendly reminder.

There's this moment during one of his hospital stays, as I was leaving to go home after a visit

my grandpa shouts to me "I love you!"

I turned around and put a brave smile and shouted back "I love you too!"

and he turns around to the neighboring patient and said happily "That's my cucu!"

I tried hard to not cry because I didn't want him to see me cry.

That moment I was just praying he could just be better and come home.

He did.

It was just one of those unexpected moments that impacts you so much.
Thinking back all these memories we had, I miss my grandpa so much.

Sigh.