Hardcore Days & Softcore Nights

Langkawi was a great getaway.

I was spoiled silly by my family

and I spoiled myself a little really.

I felt guilty, but then again I freakin deserve it

after what i've been through and what i will go through when i get back

and when i did come home, all that crappy feeling just came back

and there is so much crap i need to do which i was able to avoid when i've got classes

now that i don't. i gotta face it and do my time.

Sometimes I find myself thinking oh hey wonder where's dad?

then i'd realize it and then it just sucks.

Sitting at home doing nothing is really not the best way to go

When you've got nothing to do, you start thinking, feeling and then hurting.

Sometimes I feel my life is like a snow globe

Its happy and calm at one moment

and then the next its like a blizzard hits you

Sometimes I'd think if God ended my life right now, he would be doing me a favor.

Then I'd take a step back and ask myself, how can I think something like that?

And then oh yeah, cause I'm emo that way.

But I know its not a favor he would grant, because it'll just be too easy.

I need to fight through this.

Some help would be nice.

and some sort of pain-numbing too.