Le New Artwork

It's been awhile.
But it's coming back.

Flower's in my eyes

Can I have a moment to show how beautiful the flowers i've planted a month ago turned out?

ok done!

Making Some Cards

 

This was 12 years ago.

I made this card for you when I was 10.

And today you would've been 55 and i'd probably still make you a card.

Happy Birthday Dad

:)

on a brighter note,

my pop up card skills have gotten better compared to 12 years ago really.

 

Got a few more ideas on how to take it to the next level!

rawrarwa! 

:)

I will never let you go

Dear Dad,

Every single day i can't help but wish that you're still here.

Sometimes I forget that you're not.

Sometimes I forget I don't have a father anymore.

And sometimes forgetting that helps me forget about the pain too.

I wish you were still here 

to tell me what to do

to tell me that i'm making the right decisions

to tell me that it's going to be okay.

I just need that support that i've always gotten from you

which has gotten me through 20 years of my life

because at the end of the day,

its your support, 

its your words that counts.

 

 

Practicing my sketching skills with some ink

kinda like how imperfect it is

A house on a hill 

Fields of green

And the blue ocean backdrop

(y)

I need new paint. rawr

On my own, yes it got me nowhere and I can’t do it on my own

The new year has not been kind so far

Constant messy thoughts

Heavy heart

It doesn't seem to be getting any better

You know when you start thinking too much over something so little?

You're not doing anyone and yourself a favor by doing that

My thought process is probably at its most complicated

And when you're trying to process everything at the same time

You get this messy tangled ball of thoughts that you can't unwind

I would love to blame it all on the constant hormonal changes

It has been a year since my dad left us

And you'd think by now things are easy and good

But that one year seems to have just passed in a flash

And i'm thinking if the first year was hard enough to get by

then how would the coming years be like?

Its hard to watch kids riding bikes with their dads at the park

moms taking evening walks with their daughters

because it sucks knowing I won't have that anymore

just the whole idea of a family

it disappears along with it

I know people say that they're always going to be there for you

But i guess sometimes i need them to be physically here

because it really isn't just the same

(It just doesn't get more pathetic than that does it?)

and everyday i keep telling myself the above.

2011

And so just like that, 2010 is over and 2011 begins.

To be honest, it doesn't really feel like a new year.
It's just isn't as exciting as before.

2010 brought a lot of tears.
A stab to the heart with a major loss.
How do you get back from that?
Life just goes on, that's how.

2010 also showed how i've got a bunch of amazing friends
a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on.
it's comforting to know that you've got people you can rely on
people who has your back
and without them, i'd probably be lost.
and for that,

I thank you <3

2011 brings possibilities.
But right now, it's just a blur
and crossroads really.
can't deny how much i fear the unknown.

But, can't help but be optimistic about things.
or at least try to.
because as cliche as this might sound
you don't know what the future will bring us.

Happy New Years!

Talking to the moon

At night when the stars

light up my room

I sit by myself

Talking to the Moon

Try to get to You

My December

Absolutely love this one by Josh Groban

Fact #1: Did you know I wanted to be graffiti artist way back in high school?

Fact #2:  Did you know Kuluness came along because i needed something to practice my graffiti on?

Fact #3: That dream was short-lived for good reasons. I sucked.

I swear, it seemed like a good idea at that time.

LOLS (!)

Grenade

But you won't do the same

Noobcakes

I still can't draw with illustrator. noob cakes

So i feel completely doomed for my thesis.

Though I do admit, its kinda my fault for slacking away.

Naz told me to get my shiz together.

and the desktop background seems to be doing me some use

 

 and don't you just love my Jonas Brother's stand up cut-out and Jurassic Park bottle?

Its easier to lie

Most of the time,

its so much more easier to say that you're alive than saying you're not here anymore.

Because then, there's this awkward silence that follows,

when the other person scrambles in their mind trying to think of something to say next

while still in shock on what they've just heard.

and most of the time the first thing that comes into their minds

is an "oh."

its not the type of "oh" that you'd use for, for an oh really? moment

its the type that says "that's so sad"

but sometimes the lines are blurred with these two meanings

"I'm sorry to here that" follows.

and then another awkward silence.

In this moment I'd probably be holding myself back from tearing up

because having to utter those words in the first place was hard enough

and even though that silence could only be five seconds or ten

it would be just enough time for me to have a flashback.

A change of topic comes next to shake of the awkwardness

though some would continue on to know more 

So when someone asks what does your father do?

I'd just answer "Oh, he's in the bla bla bla"

because its just so much more easier than having to go through all that

Its easier when its with a semi-stranger of course.

Because honestly, I am an awful liar to begin with.

I see it,
I want it,
But I'll never have it.

A mother's love.
Its a shame.

Sometimes when im having flashback moments of when you were here,
i see how ungrateful and unappreciative i was of you.
I just want to smack myself in the head when i think how stupid and childish i was.

I think im in the process of moving on.
Because life around me is just going to keep going regardless.
The world isn't going to stop just for one person.
So i gotta move along with it, or at least i try to.

Sometimes you gotta take a few step back for that leap forward

I love looking up in the sky and see someone smiling back at you 

:)

Baby, you can drive my car.

Sometimes I wonder what else can the Jonas Brothers do to make me love them even more.

Then of course I stumbled upon this.

They covered the Beatles' Drive My Car.

And its a REALLY good cover considering Sir Paul McCartney himself asked them to cover it.

and they look great doing it.

/melt.